Alice Kahn Fall 1984 interview annotations

These are for my purposes, no pretense to completeness.

I find his comments about Joe Garcia to be quite revealing. There are a few other good nuggets in here. Man, even in the depths of his Rock Bottom period, he sounds engaged and articulate. What a mind!

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Fall 1984 interview by Alice Kahn. Date uncertain, but around 29 he refers to Halloween as if it's right around the corner, so could be between October 20 (last date of east coast tour) and 10/27 (start of BCT run). That is speculation.

https://datebook.sfchronicle.com/music/back-from-the-dead-alice-kahn-on-the-day-she-interviewed-jerry-garcia

It was an evening in the fall of ’84 when Kahn was escorted to Garcia’s house by the band’s publicist, Dennis McNally. She remembered Garcia being very high; her years working as a nurse and caring for drug addicts made her aware of the signs.

“I thought, ‘Oh no, is he going to be able to talk? Is he that out of it?’” Kahn recalls. “He was quite a sight.”

“I was prepared to support my music addiction, you know what I mean? If I had to pay for every bit of it, I’d gladly pay for it,” Garcia told Kahn. “For me, music is something I love. I never thought ever to make money out of it. What do I need money for? Really, I was living great without any money at all …

Garcia on the sudden death of his father: “I couldn’t even stand to hear about it or anything like that until I was about 10 or 11. Although I can’t say I remember him, the effect it had on me was really … it was really crushing.”

6^th grade to peninsula, did 8^th grade twice on Peninsula, so four years.

Menlo Oaks

@0630 "I had my own education, my own program going". He was an autodidact

bored with school

SF school neighborhood was very catholic

peninsula, other religions

boys and girls easier on the peninsula

Menlo Park brand new ranch house

before mom took him down there, grandparents raised him, largely unsupervised

they worked

not much stomach for discipline 0915

0940 a couple of teachers who opened up the world for him

asthma, reader, sickly

1015 very radical teachers, just lucky

close to Stanford was cool too 1025 educational experiments fast learner programs

1100 teachers

1111 teacher turned him on to 1984

I was hungry. I was really hungry 11:44

1209 father died when I was 4 or 5

1217 I remember him 12:20 that emotionally crippled me for a long time. I couldn't even stand to hear about it, or anything like that, until I was about 10 or 11. I didn't start really getting over it … although I can't say I remember him, the effect it had on me was really crushing … maybe because it affected my mother a lot, and I could see … I sensed that. And also, it was something that I wasn't allowed to participate in, and I think now that that was really a problem. I should have been able to … [she asks question] They tried to protect me from it.

his mom couldn't talk to him about it. it was painful for her

1310 that was the reason I went to live with my grandparents

Q do you remember him playing?

A little bit, yeah, I remember him playing a little, breaking out the clarinet. I don't remember what the tunes were, except that I do remember Steven Foster kinda tunes, nice little melodies and stuff like that.

It's something I'd like to have been able to do. I'd like to have been able to experience his music. 1448 But he was a musician who was interested in American music also. He wasn't a classical musician. 1506 clarinet is a wonderful instrument. I remember the sound of the instrument more than the tunes [1512] … the clarinet has that nice woody especially in that middle register, that relaxed register. That sound is very present in my ear. It sounds linear in my ear. I can recall them, like some people can recall smells … I can recall specific sounds and I can hear a sound … all of a sudden it'll transport me to places

1554 Menlo Park as part of your roots?

Part of my directionality. Contributed self-affirmation and the sense that there are radical possibilities and other kinds of lifestyles and things.

1640 drawing

gave me a way to think about myself

1700 not a schooled musician. No music lessons. art was where he was going in his mind. "I'm gonna be an artist". Peninsula gave me a sense of self 1727

discontinuity in the tape … too bad

first acid test 1800 – 1930 we had this tremendous purpose

2045 the very first show we played was pandemonium and it really hasn't changed much

2100 Silicon Valley

Phil is the avant of the avant garde

Steve Reich

2525 Making a living? Are you kidding? I was prepared to support my music addiction. If I had to pay for every bit of it, I'd gladly pay for it. The idea of being allowed to play 2548, and not only that but being paid for it is like 'What? You're gonna pay me to do this? Whoa …" I'd been playing for years for nothing.

2608 music is something I love. I never thought, ever, to make money at it. That was … what did I need money for? I was living great without any money at all.

2820 the hardware is just part of the "parade of passing phenomena"

2839 stuff doesn't get me that way. I'd rather have fun than stuff.

forget Halloween – makes it sound like it's close to Halloween

GD has already surpassed my expectations 2913 tenfold

Reagan's America 2942

Deadheads are people who want some excitement, some fun

3114 they can't be pigeonholed … not a monolith

discontinuity at 33:xx

1960 auto accident 33:33

33:50 it was cosmic

3507 not a sensitive artistic temperament. That's a saving grace. I'm not that fragile. And also I'm not that self-absorbed.

Adulation cult like followers

That's not me. That's not about me. That's about it. -35:45

Why don't you believe that about yourself?

3625 I'll tell you why. The minute you try to go somewhere with any of that … the minute you try to capitalize on any of that phenomenon, it just turns to dust in your face. 3534

Rodney Albin just died benefit for him 3840

The Offstage in San Jose 3912

3935 music … drugs … they go together!

4337 saw Baez at BCT

he is doing lines on tape at the end

4645 the accident before and after quality the person who came out of the wreckage was not the same person who went roaring into it