Jackson, Blair and David Gans. 2015. This Is All a Dream We Dreamed: An Oral History of the Grateful Dead. Flatiron Books.
Blair Jackson and David Gans, like Dennis McNally and David Browne earlier in my reading year, exceed my very high expectations. I don't generally do book reviews, and won't here, either, but I did want to spotlight just how foundational these guys have been in helping us understand the Grateful Dead's world just a little bit more.
Jackson and Gans are to writing about the Grateful Dead as, say, TC is to the band's music. I mean that as a compliment of utmost seriousness. In thinking about Garcia's musical life, I consider the players, those musicians who shared a stage or room with Jerry, to stand at the closest, inner ring of the social Garciaverse. TC was around 14 months and made an essential contribution to the Dead's most essential music, Live/Dead (1969). You can't understand the Dead if you don't understand TC.
Same goes for Jackson and Gans with respect to the written word (to say nothing of Gans's many contributions via the radio and otherwise). But it's more than just the authenticity and aesthetic – we would have been lost without them. From the second half of the 1970s forward, as the Dead grew more insular, Jackson and Gans became increasingly central informational nodes linking the goings on in Marin to the wider world, sometimes even all the way out to far-flung Contra Costa County. J Through inter alia Dennis Erokan's Bay Area Music (BAM), they brought us the little tidbits of gossip and the long form journalism. Jackson and Gans were the indispensable Deadhead journos in an era before the internet, when information was scarce. In 1981, they teamed up to interview the band and BAM covered Garcia across two issues,[i] as Adam Block had done a few years before.[ii] Blair and and Regan McMahon launched the fanzine the Golden Road (1984-1993) not long after, and with it helped define what such a publication can be, marrying art, erudition, great writing and lots of substance to the Deadhead experience. Gans's first book, 1985's Playing In The Band: An Oral and Visual Portrait of the Grateful Dead was the first of several to decode and re-encode the whole trip.
I won't narrate the rest of their story, but it underscores the creative efflorescence that the Dead tapped into and nurtured. Many talented people engaged many acts of genuine human creation around the whole scene, and the many wonderful writers and journalists certainly took, and continue to take, pride of place in my own text-centric little world. The semicentennial of 2015 was such a bounty of books, for example, that I am only now finishing up some transcriptions, first of Dennis McNally's shimmering personal text-collage Jerry on Jerry, then of Browne's rather stunning chronological retiling, reshuffling the deck and turning up aces, abundant fresh thoughts and material to consider.
In This Is All a Dream We Dreamed (TIAADWD), Jackson and Gans amaze me once again. I once briefly praised their work (with Steve Silberman) in curating the Dead's 1999 retrospective boxset So Many Roads, including the controversial (among picky Deadheads) but, IMO, correct choice to edit the 7/9/95 version of the titular swansong. The 2009 Let It Rock release of November 17-18, 1975 exemplifies their contributions to the Garciaverse: stellar music that is well-chosen, skillfully curated, sounding fat and fine from Betty's tapes and including Gans's excellent liner notes, featuring the rare chance to read drummer Ron Tutt's take on the Nicky Hopkins-era Garcia Band. I could go on and on.
I think Corry praised TIAADWD as oral history, and, as always, I can only second Corry's emotion. Communing with Jackson and Gans found me dusting off Greenfield (1996) and realizing that, not only have I never annotated it, but most every page either tells me something that I didn't know or tells me where I learned something that I do. Listening notes TBD. Talk is beautifully rich, and when it is thoughtful, well-considered, skillfully engaged and curated, manuscripting it reveals facets that may not become visible in similar material, but sourced from the human brain via fingers to text. Jackson and Gans have done lots of interviews, they live and breathe the substance and have come to master the various media in which they work, and it all comes together in a book that will remain an essential resource in any self-respecting Deadhead's library. If you haven't, yet, you should go buy it.
Various annotations and reading notes below the fold.
12/31/63 is the ur-moment
JG 12/31/63: "Living in poverty on the Peninsula, he devoted most of his waking hours to mastering the guitar so he could dabble in old-time country music".[i] #why
#musics blues JG and Pig liked the "Chess Records stuff – Chicago blues like Howlin' Wolf and Muddy Waters, and people like Jimmy Reed, Chuck Berry."[ii]
#musics blues Junior Walker and the All Stars instrumental "Cleo's Back" - [iii]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fixgjav4vFc (1965) – amazing just how much the Warlocks sound like this, with a little less swang.
song-"Kaw-Liga" – QMS guys rehearsed this playing cowboys & Indians with the GD, planned to tie them up on stage and play this tune.[iv]
Olompali, JG calls it "site of the only Indian battle ever fought in California".[v] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Olompali NB accent Battle of Olómpali. " opposing forces met at Rancho Olompali, granted to Coast Miwok chief Camilo Ynitia in 1843. More notes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olumpali,_California : "Olumpali (also, Olompalis) is a former settlement in Marin County, California. It was located 6 miles (9.7 km) south of Petaluma. Its site now lies within the Olompali State Historic Park. The name comes from the Coast Miwok language and likely means "southern village" or "southern people". The Coast Miwok had inhabited a site within the State Historic Park continuously from as early as 6000 BCE. Olompali had been a main center in 1200, and might have been the largest native village in Marin County." For 1834-ff the Rancho period see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rancho_Olompali " Rancho Olompali was a 8,877-acre (35.92 km2) Mexican land grant in present-day Marin County, California given in 1834 xxx another place it says 1843 xxx by governor Manuel Micheltorena to Camilo Ynitia, son of a Coast Miwok chief. Camilo was the only Native American on the northern frontier of Alta California to secure and keep a large land grant for his tribe. The first of two adobes on the site was the home of the hoipu, or head man, of Olómpali and the father of Camilo Ynitia, who was to be the last hoipu of the village. It is disputed whether the first adobe was dismantled to provide bricks for Camilo's adobe at about 1837. The second adobe is the only adobe home in Marin county;
v-Carousel JONATHAN RIESTER: "On January 17, 1968, we did a gig at the Carousel Ballroom. Nobody got paid; that was the war chest. From that day on we went after getting the Carousel Ballroom, and the deal was the Dead would own 10 percent, as would the Airplane".[vi]
v-Carousel JON MciNTIRE: "What was clear from the outset was that Ron Rakow had signed a lease that was totally untenable. On the other hand, I'm not sure we would've gotten the Carousel without him. The landlord of the Carousel was Irish, lived in Dublin, and owned ballrooms all over Ireland. He had his representative in San Francisco- also Irish-who actually ran the place. He used to come around to these gigs we put on and there would be all sorts of outrageous behavior going on. It was just bedlam! It was like Babylon! He was a little uptight at first, but after a while he'd just come in, take a look around, and then get drunk and kind of smile. The place could actually have made it if [we'd] had a better deal. I can't remember what it was, but it was something like 10 percent of the door with a guarantee of $5,000 a week. It was expensive, but then again, this was one of the busiest corners in San Francisco back then. At either the second or third show, we had so few people show up that instead of charging admission, we went around Haight Street passing out tickets, and then when people got there we gave them II free food and free ice cream. Free everything. We turned it into a party. That was Rakow's idea; I thought it was wonderful."[vii]
v-Carousel McIntire: "We had a great love for this place and gave our lives to it for a period of time. Everyone did. Everyone cared a lot about each other, and the care was genuine and it showed."[viii]
#Pigpen, per JG: "He was like gravity. Hells Angels would sit around his room fucked up on acid and Pigpen would be taking care of them. It was so great. Pigpen was like a warm fire, a cozy fire."[ix]
"The Eleven" per JG "We used to do these revolving patterns against each other where we would play 11 against 33. So one part of the band  was playing a big thing that revolved in 33 beats, or 66 beats, and the other part of the band would be tying that into the 11 figure. That's what made those things sound like "Whoa-what the hell is going on?" It was thrilling, but we used to rehearse a lot to get that effect. It sounded like chaos, but it was in reality hard rehearsal."[x] Tempo Études
#drugs Rosie on cocaine: "The nature of its influence on people's attitudes and personalities, when they are doing a lot of it, exacerbated the separation and changed people. It got worse in the early seventies. It's not that the women weren't doing coke, too. The whole scene was coked out."[xi]
Rock on The Firing: "I was against it, but Jerry put it to me as the manager to do it."[xii] #personality moral cowardice The Firing 1968, pp. 114-118.
JG on Firing, baroque complexity a la Aoxomoxoa and #Hartbeats "we were off on a false note. We were doing something that wasn't really natural. We were doing music that was self-consciously weird."[xiii] Weir: "We were all listening to a lot of North Indian classical music at the time, so we were borrowing from their rhythmic structures a lot; or the drums would follow the lead line and we did a lot of odd time signatures, placing them against each other. It was really heavy, mental stuff, real precise and real structured. That's part of what made it ultimately kind of limiting."[xiv]
8/1/69 when they played the Bear's Lair, JG suggested the name "The Murdering Punks", which is some NRPS shtick that would come up again ca. 8/7/69.[xv] NB Manson murders around that time. Nelson on NRPS, 8/1/69 "The guy wanted to call it Jerry Garcia and Friends, which Jerry hated, of course. 'I'm a sideman!' he'd say."[xvi]
NRPS, why Mickey Hart? "I wanted to learn about country and western music".[xvii]
#error: Rhoney says Jerry never met Mick Jagger, but there is video of them on the helipad in Sausalito interacting.[xviii]
#Altamont, JG: "It was something very heavy for us to see what we had initiated by just, on a good day back in '65, goin' to the Panhandle and settin' up and playin' for free – we saw it turn into that. It wasn't lost on us, man."[xix] #chiaroscuro
Rosie McGee thought Sam "Cutler was part of the Pleasure Crew, which was a bunch of guys who hung out together. They'd travel with the band, or show up. It was obvious when I visited a couple of them that money wasn't an issue."[xx]
Sam Cutler Institutionalization: "Garcia was particularly interested, when we first chatted, in how the Rolling Stones organized things – how they ran their office, how did they do the bank accounts, who could sign checks."[xxi]
Lenny Hart pp. 140-147.
At the time of Lenny's arrival [ca. May 1969], Rock says "I was already talking with Clive Davis" of Columbia Records.[xxii] #record companies
per Rock, 10/31/69 Lenny has them sign papers, which nobody read, and they turned out to extend the WB contract another three years.[xxiii] #record companies
Jonathan Riester: "The band was always wishy-washy. That was one of Garcia's bad character defects. He would go with the flow."[xxiv] #personality
Gail Hellund: "Jerry did Zabriskie Point, and they were going to buy their first house with the check from that. Mountain Girl would call them every day: "That check come yet?" She had a house she wanted to buy, and she was anxious to get it. Every morning I would go to the post office and pick up the Grateful Dead's mail. I was not allowed to open it-I just put it on Lenny's desk. I saw the check from Warner Bros.-"Jerome J. Garcia"- put it on Lenny's desk,"[xxv] but Lenny stole it and that's how he got caught. GOTs at the center!
Rock, on post-Lenny: "Mickey was distraught beyond belief. He [eventually] quit because he couldn't face it."[xxvi]
Sam Cutler, per Gail H: "Sam Cutler was there. He wasn't pressuring anybody except Jerry; that's the only person you had to pressure in those days."[xxvii] "Sam's a hustler."[xxviii]
#why Bob Weir 1970: "It bugs you if you are playing music the best you can play it and not many people are listening. And just because you're a performer, a performer wants people to listen."[xxix]
Miles Davis: "Jerry Garcia and I hit it off great, talking about music –what they liked and what I liked – and I think we all learned something. Jerry Garcia loved jazz and I found out that he loved my music and had been listening to it for a long time."[xxx] #musics
jazz is diachronic –successive soli—while the GD can often be synchronic in which, as Phil says, "everybody's playing their improvisations at the same time".[xxxi] #musics
GD-Europe per Nelson, ca 1970 Cutler was trying to set up a Europe tour – the GD, NRPS, JA etc. going over on a big ocean liner. Had meetings at Jerry's in Larkspur, talked about passport photos etc. The Canadian train trip replaced this.[xxxii]
Bob in 1970 describes a good jam that left Garcia "more grin than beard – which is unusual."[xxxiii] Classic.
#fatemusic JG on the GD, speaking 1970: "A long time ago, we were sort of incidental music at the celebration of life."[xxxiv] This is from Flash #0 on a 747 – see http://deadsources.blogspot.com/2013/12/october-1970-jerry-garcia-interview.html. Continues: "Which was super cool. Now, however, we’re in the position of being rock and roll stars, which is not anywhere near so cool and takes a lot more from you... You’re playing music, you’re up, you’re excited, you’re on, you leave the stage … and there’s a backstage full of drifting shadow forms and peculiar show-biz vampires" [LIA's transcription]. #burden
Merl was "still wearing shined shoes and these 300 dollar sweaters" when he started playing with Jerry. First started with Jerry and Vitt and Merl, organ and bass pedals. "About thirty people each Monday or Tuesday would come to hear us."[xxxv] Not sure how to interpret – I thought crowds started before Merl, drove Howard away, in fact.
rh on writing Deal and Loser: "both written about 7 o'clock one morning when we were all living in Novato. … I was chipper and feeling wonderful, and I dashed those two songs off. Garcia got up a little later and he was reading the newspaper at the breakfast table and I laid these two lyrics on him."[xxxvi] #adayinthelife
BK on Keith: "He was so inventive—he played some jazz stuff and free music that was just incredible. He had a heart of music."[xxxvii] When KG came in, no other tryouts. KG as musician, doing "those little Floyd Cramer trills on the country tunes", per Gary Lambert.[xxxviii]
November '71: Atlanta no good, lots of uptight cops in a big municipal building. ABQ "was a nice trip. In fact, they want us to do a gig and have the sociology department of the University of New Mexico come and observe it, and also the police, to see how we handle a crowd."[xxxix]
McIntire on DJG: "Donna Jean was adored by everyone. She was a musician, so she got treated better than any woman who has ever been in the Grateful Dead scene. She was treated as a goddess. Everyone was looking out for her and helping her. No one would be mean to Donna Jean."[xl]
Donna Jean on BK's drumming: "he played like a dancer".[xli]
#record company Steve Brown: "Rakow was able to convince Jerry that this was a good idea, and Jerry was able to subsequently sell it to the band".[xlii]
Steve Brown recounts GDR era, "being out in the front office and hearing Jerry in the kitchen playing". #adayinthelife "One day David Bromberg showed up and the two of them went for a whole afternoon just playing together and laughing."[xliii]
Rock on losing Pig: "I'd never seen Jerry more unhappy, ever. God, he was devastated."[xliv] #death
214 ff some stuff on Cutler. R Loren says shrewd, ambitious, self-aggrandizing. RL says Cutler was getting an agent's commission, so pushing big gigs. "He took it too far, and eventually they let him go."[xlv] I do not feel like I know what caused Cutler's departure. Was there a zero-sum influence game between Rakow and Cutler?
#record company, Steve Brown: "We put all the time and effort into making the whole thing [WOTF] as good as we could make it and then – BANG! About a week after it came out, bootlegs started to show up. Goddamn bootlegs!"[xlvi] "We didn't really have any idea how to deal with it, so we did what most regular companies would do: we called up the FBI! … The FBI found out that it was the mob working out of New Jersey."[xlvii]
#record company Steve Brown: "The shock to us was that no sooner had we gone independent than we became highly vulnerable, and we didn't have the kind of protections that big record companies have … We were, unfortunately, little and very fuck-withable."[xlviii]
Steve Brown on Garcia's musicality: "Jerry would often use visual identification with the sounds he was trying to describes, and they were an interesting insight into how he 'saw' music. Sometimes he would actually draw it – he would have a celeste with this lines going out to these sparks and stars – he wanted it to burst. 'That's like a carousel sound.' 'That should sound like it's a cold place on Saturn, very cold and hard.' Weird stuff."[xlix] #sounds
Recording Mars Hotel, per Steve Brown: "It was a congenial scene. Everybody was still healthy enough. There wasn't that much cocaine around; it wasn't that abusive a scene. Mostly it was smoking dope and Jerry and his Tia Marias – coffee with Kahlua."[l] #alcohol #drugs
The Phil & Ned sets "visited many challenging and highly unconventional spaces in the realm between music and noise."[li] #musics Jerry Moore on Seastones: "Maybe they were looking to baffle people. I guess it's music, but it doesn't partake of most of the requirements. It didn't have a melody. It didn't have a beat. It didn't have a theme of any sort."[lii]
art vs. commerce: Ned Lagin was told to stop making the GD too weird. "There was a real desire for the long stuff to get shorter and the short stuff to get more popular."[liii]
E74 #drugs, per Ned. Lots of cocaine. Phil didn't do cocaine, not sure about Weir, but Phil and Ned were also doing LSD. He implies everyone else doing lots of coke. Meeting in London "we all agreed to flush our stashes. We all dutifully did – with, as it turns out, the exception of Jerry."[liv]
Phil Lesh on #drugs: "Cocaine … makes me evil and makes me hate music."[lv]
JG 1974 on hiatus. "Our whole development has been 'going along with the changes.' … just not thinking about it, or not making conscious decisions about what we were doing, we ended up in that place of stadiums, coliseums, large civic buildings, high ticket prices, enormous overhead …"[lvi] #fatemusic #institutionalization
#togotigi Garcia 1975: "We've been a group in the most real sense for ten years with zero breaks. We've gotten so into functioning as a gestalt personality, at times it's all the same person. It's the Grateful Dead, whatever that is. … it's time to go out and do our own things. Because the Dead incorporates the musical viewpoint that it's none of us particularly. We each have our own particular interests, and what we can agree to do together is something different than we would do individually."[lvii]
Weir #togotigi 1976: "Branching off into separate bands was an extremely healthy step for all of us. We were suffering from being inbred [recall Croz: variety], and the only way to deal with this was for each member to go out and seek a new endeavor."[lviii]
p. 241 sounds like Steve Brown has more tapes of BFA sessions at Ace's. "Van Morrison came up and hung out a few times; that was neat."[lix] As closely as they passed, I know of no Garcia-Van direct encounters.
January 1976 DJG we were all hanging out in Stinson, "so the proximity probably influenced us joining that band. Garcia was at our house all the time and we would take out old gospel records and listen to them for days and days, and decide which ones we wanted to do."[lx] She elaborates on what they were after with the super slow stuff. JGB
#record company "Ron Rakow tried many different avenues to raise funds for the various projects –even borrowing money from a network of drug smugglers at one point [JGMF: tell me more!] – but in May 1976" he cut himself a check and bailed, leaving the GD "once again in desperate financial straits."[lxi]
Rakow blames failure on The Movie: "Until the movie broke us, Grateful Dead Records made a lot of bread."[lxii] Steve Brown confirms that The Movie was costing a lot.
Dave Parker: Rakow "walked away with the money, which the majority of the band felt he wasn't entitled to. Garcia felt that he was. Garcia was basically on his side at first," eventually came 'round.[lxiii] Jerilyn on Rakow: "it was Jerry's decision to let him get away with it, because he felt like it was more trouble than it was worth".[lxiv] Steve Brown: after Rakow ripped them off on Jerry's watch, "Jerry had the mark on his forehead for a while there. You could see him wearing it. … they had been kind of pushing the way they wanted things."[lxv] #1976 guilt
The Movie: "It became Jerry's personal project," Dennis McNally says, "so nobody was going to interfere with it. On the other hand, he almost had to steal money from the Grateful Dead to get it done. And there's Rakow, who's Jerry's guy, and Rakow burns everybody. It's a sort of a perfect storm of negativity, and what does Jerry do? He starts self-medicating" with heroin.[lxvi] The Movie bound up with the Rakow ripoff, #drugs.
JG on Keith, 1981: "Keith had a thing with the piano that was truly remarkable. You could play him a record of something he'd never been exposed to stylistically, like Professor Longhair, and a minute later he'd have the whole idiom."[lxvii] Really reinforces the idea of KG as a piano savant.
#GD vs. solo: JG in 1979: "in the GD, things work dynamically. They aren't a result of somebody's point of view made into policy; rather they're the other way around. Things happen, and we try to figure out what they were. … Any idea has to make allowances for what everybody believes. … "What's interesting about the GD is that we don't share a common point of view about anything."[lxviii]
Garcia, undated: "We've learned to go with the flow; there's always something going on that's worth the hassle and all the bullshit. … It's an experiment, and it's only pure fortune that's taken us this far, and that fortune has a lot to do with taking chances. We abandoned the whole concept of a game plan early on. As soon as things started happening better than we could plan, we decided to trust that instead."[lxix] #fatemusic
#houses Garcia at Hepburn Heights by late 1980, 11/16/80 Dylan sit in.[lxx]
#drugs heroin comfort JG 1987 interview: "Maybe it was the thing of being able to distance myself a little from the world."[lxxi]
#coma, Len Dell'amico says "God bless Merl. … Merl's the guy who took it on himself. That wasn't anyone else. Merl had faith."[lxxii] #1986
Annabelle says he started with #banjo when he started playing again post-#coma.[lxxiii] #1986
Len Dell'amico says of #Bob Dylan and JG "I got the sense from Jerry that the two of them had a closer relationship than has been revealed by either one. Because once I got him talking, it was clear they had talked on the phone a lot and they had spent time together in New York with [the Dead] played in New York. Bob had even given him a tour of New York City in his van. I think that was somewhere between '78 and the Christian tour in 1980."[lxxiv] Valuable new info on JG and Zimm!
Weir on song-"Frankie Lee And Judas Priest": JG had been "trying to get [Dylan] to do it [in '87], because he loved that song." "Each new line was a shining new gem".[lxxv]
#charisma Garcia "dominated every room he was in".[lxxvi] #personality
Dennis on post-coma: "Jerry was healthy, happy to be alive, happy to be playing music again … 87 was just a really sweet year in that way"[lxxvii]
JG '87, could video replace live? "The audience requires the band, the band requires the audience … anything short of live performances is short of live performances."[lxxviii] #why
JG '87 "As far as I can tell, we're at the cul-de-sac, the end of popular music success. It doesn't mean there's no place to go from here. But now we have to be creative on this level as well, and invent where we're going to go."[lxxix] #burden it's hard to invent new forms, institutions are costly to build, they stuck with the tried & true and it ground him up (or whatever).
Broadway '87 covered Jackson and Gans 2015, 344-345. Bob Barsotti: "Ticket sales broke Yul Brynner's record with The Kind and I for first-day sales on Broadway in 1964. It was broken again later by Andrew Lloyd Webber with the Phantom of the Opera, but Jerry held the record for a while."[lxxx]
#business Parish was conscious of Graham having to make it special, so as not to offend John (but Scher got mad anyway).[lxxxi]
Len Dell'amico has Jerry clean on 12/31/87.[lxxxii] No #drugs.
GD 1989 nitrous oxide stuff out east was actually an organized crime operation, shows with hundreds of tanks – "at five bucks a balloon, somebody's making millions of dollars" (Cameron Sears).[lxxxiii]
So puzzling to me why GD went away from ITD approach for BTL.[lxxxiv] No one can quite explain how it happened.
Mickey Hart, Garcia said in discussing Weir's "Victim Or The Crime", "holds down the strangeness corner."[lxxxv] That's part of what makes NRPS so surprising – it calls for being so straight! On the other hand, he was a regimental drummer or whatever.
NB how much Garcia loves strangeness: "It's like having a monster brother that you lock up in the attic. It's like a relative that you – 'God, I hope nobody comes over when he's eating.'"[lxxxvi] LOL
Cameron Sears: Garcia was most affected by Brent's death. Dell'amico concurs: "It was clear to me that Garcia was hit harder than the others."[lxxxvii] #death
#burden Cameron Sears that after Brent died the GD "should have canceled the tour and taken as much time as they needed. I think ultimately it was the family pressure. You've got at least fifty people who were dependent" on the Dead continuing.[lxxxviii]
Dennis: "My theory was that Jerry to some extent took responsibility for Brent's death. He recognized that the internal dynamics of the GD – the way the treated each other as human beings—was a fraud, was non-supportive, non-anything that any human being would want to be a part of."[lxxxix] #death
#death Brent, per Dennis: "Being 'manly men', they wouldn't talk about it, they wouldn't confront it, they just tried to put themselves in total denial … It was almost archetypal, the way they failed to deal with what had just happened to them. I think Jerry knew this, whether he wanted to admit it out loud or not, and it put him in a bad place, and you can hear it in his guitar playing for the rest of his life."[xc] #personality #1990s
Garcia and Phil came to Bruce H at Concord Pavilion, 8/5/90, to ask him to join the GD.[xci] Bruce discusses trying to break up the codified formula, to little avail.[xcii]
Weir 1991 on GD: "We have all the dynamics of a family."[xciii] JG 1991 "My relationship with the GD family is way closer than anything I've got with any of my blood relatives."[xciv] #brotherhood
Len Dell'amico says they had a good run after coma. "Brent died and then a year later Bill [Graham] died, and I don't think Jerry could shoulder it. It was staggering. It was like a fighter getting hit."[xcv] #death #1990s #oscuro Bill Graham
Len Dell'amico says JG was talking as early as spring 1991 about getting out of stadiums, etc.[xcvi] burnout #1991
#1990s Silberman: "Towards the end, Garcia's weathered quality became part of the plot."[xcvii] great line
by-mid 1994, fans are getting word "about the obvious recurrence of Garcia's drug issues, manifested by an alarming listlessness and lack of focus onstage." Also suffering carpal tunnel (1993ff).[xcviii] #drugs #health
Vinnie on #drugs: "Jerry talked about his drug thing very little, and the only time he tried to explain it to me, he was trying to describe his relationship with [heroin] and how he was what he called a "maintenance user".[xcix] This is not as farfetched as it sounds. As narrated in Escohotado's magisterial Historia General de las Drogas,[c] the "maintenance user" is probably the modal –most commonly occurring-- type of drug user throughout human history. This is the town grocer who takes a nip of cough syrup, the codeine giving him a sense of pleasant calm as he goes about his business.
Vinnie on #drugs #1990s "It was becoming apparent … -- about halfway through my tenure – when it was pretty much out of the closet and it was pretty obvious that he was going to do what he was going to do. Better blatant than latent, though he never did the shit in front of you. He didn't do it to party, … he just did enough to make himself feel 'normal'."[ci]
Vinnie on #drugs #1990s: "He could be playing and nod out and then he'd wake up and find himself still playing."[cii] [NB BJ said JG was nodding 9/2/94?]
Hornsby, sitting in Giants Stadium 1994: "it was just horrifically bad. They all knew it, the [band members] were bummed and embarrassed … a sea of mediocrity on the bandstand."[ciii] #GD #1990s
Hornsby, on ca. 1994: "no one seemed to be able to reach Garcia".[civ]
#1990s JG #drugs, per Cameron Sears: "We did confront him. We did have a lot of meetings internally. People were genuinely concerned from a personal perspective for him and the music was not what people felt it should be, so there were a lot of things being discussed. But the X-factor in the whole thing was really Jerry's reaction to it and what he wanted to do. Because at the end of the day it was his life to live how he chose."[cv]
Cameron Sears on JG 1990s drugs and health: "Nobody wants to be told they can't do something ever again. And he had multiple sets of things where he was being told that. 'You need to lose forty pounds. You can't smoke. You can't eat this. You have to exercise.' At a certain point you're kind of like, 'Fuck this.'"[cvi]
#1990s Jan Simmons on how hard it was seeing JG in "such poor health that it was hard for him to walk up and down the stage stairs".[cvii]
1990s 1994 GD attempt studio work, JG grumpy. Bralove: " He'd come late; he might be pissed off".[cviii]
#1995 Tour From Hell, Dennis says JG "was in alarming health".[cix] Blood sugar over 200. #health
Steve Marcus: "When he was clean, he was so wonderful to be around. And he would be backstage in the hospitality area, where Joe Schmo could come in with a sticker [backstage pass], and he was open to everybody. When he started using again," he would hide in his dressing room.[cx]
Steve Marcus on summer '95: "he was pale, like a ghost, in horrible, horrible shape. He always walked around with his briefcase; it was practically handcuffed to him. He would just get out of the van, go to his dressing room, disappear, and then twenty minutes before the show would start, he would go up to his cubicle on stage and nobody would see him, you know?"[cxi]
Allan Arkush: "his life became a burden".[cxii] #burden
Cameron Sears says his decision to go to Betty Ford was quite unprecedented.[cxiii]
8/8/95 Cameron Sears saw JG "pulling out of the Wendy's drive-thru where he was getting, presumably, a chocolate shake, French fries, and a cheeseburger, as he was wont to do".[cxiv] #health
The Movie: per film editor Susan Crutcher, they had 100,000 of film from seven cameras, sync'd with an SMPTE time code system, and it took to five months just to get everything in sync.[cxv]
The Movie Susan Crutcher was a film editor working with Jerry in the editing room, sometimes "criticizing the music in a gentle but honest way". Four Hells Angels were sitting behind them just watching, and at one point one of the Angels taps Jerry on the shoulder and asks "Who is that bitch?" Jerry vouched for her, and she'd never again fear a movie producer, having had four Hells Angels in her editing room.[cxvi] #Hells Angels
[i] Jackson and Gans 2015, 3.
[ii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 11.
[iii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 12.
[iv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 45.
[v] Jackson and Gans 2015, 44.
[vi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 100.
[vii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 101.
[viii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 101.
[ix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 104.
[x] Jackson and Gans 2015, 106-107.
[xi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 111.
[xii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 115.
[xiii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 116.
[xiv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 117.
[xv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 129.
[xvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 130.
[xvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 130.
[xviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 136.
[xix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 137.
[xx] Jackson and Gans 2015, 138.
[xxi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 139.
[xxii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 141.
[xxiii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 141.
[xxiv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 142.
[xxv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 145-146.
[xxvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 147.
[xxvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 148.
[xxviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 149.
[xxix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 154.
[xxx] Jackson and Gans 2015, 156.
[xxxi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 156.
[xxxii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 157.
[xxxiii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 162.
[xxxiv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 168.
[xxxv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 169.
[xxxvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 173.
[xxxvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 182.
[xxxviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 183.
[xxxix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 184.
[xl] Jackson and Gans 2015, 187.
[xli] Jackson and Gans 2015, 197.
[xlii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 203.
[xliii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 204.
[xliv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 206.
[xlv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 214.
[xlvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 217.
[xlvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 217.
[xlviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 217.
[xlix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 226.
[l] Jackson and Gans 2015, 227.
[li] Jackson and Gans 2015, 228.
[lii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 229.
[liii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 229.
[liv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 231.
[lv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 232.
[lvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 236.
[lvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 239.
[lviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 239.
[lix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 241.
[lx] Jackson and Gans 2015, 244.
[lxi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 251.
[lxii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 251.
[lxiii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 252-253.
[lxiv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 253.
[lxv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 252.
[lxvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 253.
[lxvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 294.
[lxviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 299.
[lxix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 300.
[lxx] Jackson and Gans 2015, 306.
[lxxi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 316.
[lxxii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 320.
[lxxiii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 321.
[lxxiv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 336.
[lxxv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 339.
[lxxvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 336.
[lxxvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 340.
[lxxviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 342.
[lxxix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 342.
[lxxx] Jackson and Gans 2015, 344.
[lxxxi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 345.
[lxxxii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 345.
[lxxxiii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 348-349.
[lxxxiv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 349-357.
[lxxxv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 354.
[lxxxvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 355.
[lxxxvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 370.
[lxxxviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 371.
[lxxxix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 373.
[xc] Jackson and Gans 2015, 374.
[xci] Jackson and Gans 2015, 377.
[xcii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 384.
[xciii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 388.
[xciv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 388.
[xcv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 393.
[xcvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 396.
[xcvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 398-399.
[xcviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 401.
[xcix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 402.
[c] Escohotado 2008; see also Escohotado 1999.
[ci] Jackson and Gans 2015, 402.
[cii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 402.
[ciii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 403.
[civ] Jackson and Gans 2015, 403.
[cv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 405.
[cvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 406.
[cvii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 406.
[cviii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 407.
[cix] Jackson and Gans 2015, 408.
[cx] Jackson and Gans 2015, 412.
[cxi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 412.
[cxii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 413.
[cxiii] Jackson and Gans 2015, 414.
[cxiv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 414.
[cxv] Jackson and Gans 2015, 432.
[cxvi] Jackson and Gans 2015, 433.